Sunday, February 10, 2008

Definition diversion

Sunmedia's Lorrie Goldstein has issued a challenge to readers. - Finding the right words.

He asks us to come up with some mocking terminology of our own to counter that used by special-interest groups such as that of AGW fanatics who attempt to stifle disagreement by calling anyone who has a different opinion, a 'denier'.

Example:

DAVID SUZUKIITIS

Definition: The belief that everyone is entitled to their own opinion about global warming ... as long as it agrees with yours and that if not, they should be jailed.



Here's my submission:

HARRIS HYPERBOLE:

Definition: The tendency of McGuinty strategists, Julian Falconer, and anyone else with a politically-correct agenda to blame Mike Harris for any past, present or future problems in Ontario - or the rest of Canada for that matter. In case of desperation, the names of Stephen Harper, George Bush and lockstep may also be substituted.


Enjoy your Sunday.


* * * *

BTW, my IHTG may be 'experimenting' this afternoon. In the event of catastrophic failure, it's been a great Journey. Thanks for the memories.

28 comments:

bigcitylib said...

"Greenshirts" has a nice ring to it. Its been used in a few places, but I don't know why it hasn't caught on more.

I'm shooting to replace "denier" with "warmocaust collusionist".

Alberta Girl said...

Bushitis:

A condition of the mind where one sees every event happening in the world to be directly controlled by George W Bush. Those with this condition often display a severe lack of knowledge of actual world events and will be seem to be lost in their own worlds.

It should be noted that those with Bushitis often see other World Leaders as falling under the spell of George W. Bush. An accompanying condition called Harperitis often occurs.

Bushitis is now know to be relatively short lived and those suffering from the condition will recover in about 11 months.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Ha! These are great!

Bushitis is now know to be relatively short lived and those suffering from the condition will recover in about 11 months.

Perfect!

Alberta Girl said...

News-teria

This is a condition where the sufferer solely believes the news of the day. Sufferers of this condition are not well versed in History and therefore tend to form their opinions and beliefs based on what is printed in the newspaper or heard on the news.

Sufferers often have emotional outbursts when challenged with actual history and unfortunately, unless the Sufferer themselves attempts to find out if what they are being told is true, there is no cure for this.

Note - Kate at SDA has a great post about this condition.

Another Note - Joanne, this is fun!!!

Anonymous said...

I've got one:

Parent Partnership Rash

A condition witnessed by those "experts" in education who very quickly, at the very scent of a problem of kids not learning, circle the wagons and aim outward suggesting ad-nauseum "it's the fault of the parents".

Educators afflicted with PPR symptoms:

- talk to adults in their "indoor voice"

- make parents sit in teeny tiny chairs during the parent/teacher interview

- speak s-l-o-w-l-y just in case the parent has trouble understanding

- gets offended when parents ask too many questions...especially intelligent ones about curriculum, methods and programs.

- has a direct line to the immediate school board superintendent to red-flag problem parents.

- will always schedule a meeting with a parent close to a recess or lunch so they have an excuse(a ringing bell/buzzer) to end the meeting on their terms.

- divides and conquers - no explanation necessary.

Duration of condition lasts until upcoming holiday or end of school year...when all is forgotten and the student(parent) become the next teacher's problem.

BeeJay said...

I read recently a report in the MSM about snow falling in Bethlehem. The reporter's angst over this seemingly global warming contrariness was salved by her comment that it is not an uncommon event. I guess that once in 25 years is the new definition of uncommon.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Some of these definitions should be submitted to the Sun's letters to the editor.

fh said...

Let' come up with positive handles for the Prime Minister and his cabinet

Especially on the election trail

Unless of course the Liberals who promissed to bring down the Government after the Christmas break
are too "chicken"

Have you noticed the Liberal attack on the leadership of the Rt. Hon. Stephen Harper?

The opposition will lose big time with that strategy

He is the most decisive leader Canada has had in over a decade

He was back in Ottawa right after Christmas working hard for Canadians

fh said...

Liberals crainial boogers perfect

Swift said...

I like your definition of global warming. I shovelled half a meter of global warming off my front steps this morning. Later this week I will go down to check things out by the bay. They had three meter drifts of global warming before the last two big storms. Waterfront properties do have some disadvantages.
You may have only the forth best conservative blog in Canada, only the third best in Ontario, only the third best in the Golden Triangle, only the second best in Waterloo Region, only the second best in the Kitchener Centre riding, but there is no need to panic and completely redesign your website. After all, unless Aaron has moved you do have the best conservative blog in your poll. Congratulation on all the above.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Nik Nanosology: The science of trying to convince women that they don't like Stephen Harper due to a small Strategic sample. (See today's CTV QP)

liberal supporter said...

BTW, my IHTG may be 'experimenting' this afternoon. In the event of catastrophic failure, it's been a great Journey. Thanks for the memories
You could create another blog under the same profile and experiment there.

Anonymous said...

Oliveroony Taberitis:
The psychosis of always knowing what PMSH is planning, thinking, and hoping without ever taliking with him;snorts and giggles are the major symptom.

bluetech

Mé said...

Jason Chernobyliake [chair-no-belly-ache]:

A radioactive disease that includes an upset stomach feeling one feels after reading one of Jason C's blogs. The Chernobyliake may re-occur. It can be quite toxic due to "a plume of highly radioactive fallout into the atmosphere and over an extensive geographical [blogospheric] area." (Wikipedia)

Joanne (True Blue) said...

You could create another blog under the same profile and experiment there.

You're brilliant! I just told my IHTG and he thought it was worth trying. Thanks!

Alberta Girl said...

"Nik Nanosology: The science of trying to convince women that they don't like Stephen Harper due to a small Strategic sample. (See today's CTV QP)"

Great one!!

How about

Pollmania - This condition occurs when decisions are based on polls conducted by polling firms. The major symptom of this condition is a waffling of indecisiveness when different polling companies produce different results or produce results based on questions which are leading.

Sufferers of Pollmania often threaten to take a particular course of action then are not able to follow through due media opinions on the results of the poll.

This is a particularily common affliction with elected officials and unfortunately no cure is available.

Anonymous said...

Encouraging name-calling - how mature and grown up.

He should practise what he preaches - sad, pitiful man.

Tunnelvision-itis - CPC'rs

Alberta Girl said...

"Encouraging name-calling - how mature and grown up.

He should practise what he preaches - sad, pitiful man.

Tunnelvision-itis - CPC'rs"

My goodness - someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today!

Funny how those who would use any of the following

"denier"
"HArper"
"knuckledragger"
"racist"
"neo-con"
"bush-lover"
"control freak"

just to mention a few - gets soooooo upset when the tables are turned and the right has a little fun at the expense of the left!

Try to lighten up anony.

Anonymous said...

Ignor anon. 2:58 Joanne. Your contributors here are really doing a good job of coming up with new typically Canadian ailments, conditions, afflictions.

Here's one that we've missed

"Fossil-itis"

symptoms - those identified by the environuts at their latest gatherings who don't buy into their junk science and scaremongering and see the truth and redundance of Kyoto(the accord not the dog). Fossils are grounded and tell us all more about the earth and its conditions than all of the enviro-nuts put together.
Fossils are content at staying fossils...salt of the earth and all of that stuff.

Anonymous said...

anon @2:58 has bubbleitis...hasn't read any msm lately to notice Harperites(one of Greg Westons repeated follies.)
And anon obviously hasn't listened to the screeching and name calling in the HoC.
and has never been to a Lib or Dipper blog.

maryT said...

Tunnelvisionitis more aptly describes liberal and ndp voters.
I AM WOMAN, I LIKE HARPER.
Maybe we should get T-shirts made.

Alberta Girl said...

I am not sure where my mind is today, but definitions just keep popping up.

How about BeerandPopcorn-itis

This condition often strikes without warning when government cheques are issued. The symptoms are an overwhelming urge to spend the cheque on beer and popcorn.

It is difficult to cure this condition as those receiving cheques are often not capable of making decisions for themselves.

maryT said...

Just testing.

Möbius said...

just to mention a few - gets soooooo upset when the tables are turned and the right has a little fun at the expense of the left!

The Left are tedious, frightened people, with no sense of humour. It's a wonder they can leave their respective hovels in the morning and go off to work, those that have jobs.

Gabby in QC said...

"I AM WOMAN, I LIKE HARPER.
Maybe we should get T-shirts made."
Where can I buy a few?

You people are hilarious and so clever with your suggestions! Hats off to you.
My two favourites so far are:
Nik Nanosology
Oliveroony Taberitis

Joanne (True Blue) said...

You may have only the forth best conservative blog in Canada, only the third best in Ontario, only the third best in the Golden Triangle, only the second best in Waterloo Region, only the second best in the Kitchener Centre riding, but there is no need to panic and completely redesign your website. After all, unless Aaron has moved you do have the best conservative blog in your poll. Congratulation on all the above.

lol! Thanks, Swift. Just experimenting. We'll see what happens next.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

"I AM WOMAN, I LIKE HARPER.
Maybe we should get T-shirts made."
Where can I buy a few?


Mmm... Perhaps this could be an advertising opportunity...

Anonymous said...

Dipsydoodleitis - can't take credit for originality because I think the term came from an episode of the Flintstones when one of the characters was afflicted with the condition that resulted in squawking, repetition and general wacky characteristics.

Today it can work to explain the Dipper agenda.