Friday, September 22, 2006

Another Dash of Real Life (with a grain of P.C. Politics)

I was going to direct this post solely at the ladies in my readership audience, but then thought better of it.

We now live in a tolerant Canada where exclusion of any kind warrants being labelled a bigot (unless you're funded by Status of Women). Therefore anyone can read or comment on this item, but it is especially dedicated to a fellow Blogger's wife, who I have been told reads my blog but isn't too much into politics. So Madame, this one's for you. :)

Today is officially the first day of autumn, and for me that means the DREADED PURSE CHANGEOVER DAY!!!! Any woman/man who has a white purse in her/his possession knows what that means. For some inexplicable reason, you can't wear white past the summer. To me this is colour discrimination. People wear black in the summer.

It is acceptable to wear white shirts all year long, but definitely no white purses or pants in the winter! Maybe because you could get lost in the snow? Perhaps it's a safety thing.

Anyway, I digress. So this year the task is especially painful, because I found a particularly lovely white bag this summer. It's beside me right now. The shape is rather rectangular; almost the size of a tissue box but a bit longer. It has cute little pockets at both ends so you can stick your cell phone in either one and still have it accessible no matter which shoulder the bag is resting on. Genius!

And it is so soft! My hands caress it everytime I reach in for my wallet. I don't know what kind of material it is, but I am going to miss this purse. The strap is perfect - wide enough that it doesn't cut into my shoulder, and just the right length so I can tuck it safely under my arm when shopping and not worry about those nasty handbag abductors.

And it is roomy - just about anything you could imagine will fit in there and yet it still looks small! It is every woman's (or man's) dream bag!!!

The winter purse that will now be receiving the burgeoning contents is black (of course), rigid, space-challenged and just plain boring.

I obviously would like to find another purse just like my summer one but in black. No such luck so far. Maybe I could paint the white one? Or use black fabric tape? Black dye?

Nah, probably not. The whole allure of the white one was probably tied up with my summer memories, so it would never be the same.

So as I slowly and sadly stuff my black behemoth with all the feminine/masculine necessities, I say goodbye not only to my white bag, but also to an awesome summer of swimming, gardening, golfing, boating, fishing and languid strolls along the beach.

Au revoir little white bag - Til we meet again next summer.


Red Tory said...

We now live in a tolerant Canada where exclusion of any kind warrants being labelled a bigot (unless you're funded by Status of Women).

LOL. Hey Joanne, what do you use to sharpen YOUR sticks? Just wondering…

You couldn’t resist getting that little jab in, could you? I love it.

For whatever it’s worth, my wife only changes her purse when it falls apart. She has whatever the female equivalent of the “Kostanza Wallet” is. That’s to say, bursting with every receipt, parking stub, flyer, coupon, leaflet or miscellaneous bit of junk she may have accumulated over the past year or so. It’s quite the thing of amazement and wonder attempting to locate anything of use in this portable museum of arcane memorbilia. I cannot imagine having to lug around the better part of ten pounds of this junk everywhere for no reason whatsoever. Women… I will never figure them out.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

LOL. Hey Joanne, what do you use to sharpen YOUR sticks? Just wondering…

I can't help it. It's just the way my brain works. Glad I made you smile. :)

I am equally guilty of stuffing all I can into my bag, which causes the stooped shoulder sydrome. You have to be sure to keep changing which side you carry it on or one day you fall right over!

Red Tory said...

I cannot fathom the purse thing. My wife doesn’t even wear make-up (well, precious little) so really, what’s the point?

That said, my daughter (#2) has an absolute adoration for purses. And I have to admit, they ARE fun to shop for. I can get quite into the whole endevour if the mood takes me. It most certainly beats the living daylights out of shopping for dresses. WARNING TO MEN: Never, never undertake the purchase of a dress! You will rue the day this insane notion ever crossed your feeble mind. NOTE: Good intentions count for precisely nothing.

Jay said...

I love shopping with girls for dresses. Being one of the "girls", straight men would kill to get to see what I do!!!

Spitfire said...

Oh Joanne that cracked me up!!! I have a brown purse and a black purse, so I don't have to worry about that! :-)

Joanne (True Blue) said...

lol! Thanks, Spitfire! First female heard from. I appreciate that.

Yes, maybe if I could get away from my penchant for white, I wouldn't have this problem twice a year.

Nicole said...

handbags are actually my one indulgence for myself.
I have 32 right now { not all of them are fancy "name brand" ones} and have given some of my other ones to my daughter. I have certain bags that I use when I wear certain outfits, different times of the year, etc.
I was just given a beautiful bag that was made in Indonesia, by 2 women that instead of wanting charity from the tsunami, asked for materials so that they could make these beautiful bags and earn money to support their families.
The Sask Association of Registered Nurses { SARN} purchased tons of them to use as 'conference' bags.
I was given a beautiful black and orange one that is satiny and organza and just shimmers. Fall is my favourite season and my friend thought I would appreciate it because of the colours and all. I actually am even more thrilled knowing WHO made it and whenever I use this bag, I usually get comments and get to tell the story of the 2 sisters.

Ps. I got an email from Sara and I am going to reply.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Wow! That's a cool story about your black and orange handbag, Nicole. I can see why it would be so special to you.

Looking forward to the email. Thanks.

Kunoichi said...


I never did understand the no-white in winter thing. I knew a couple of girls in high school that would never be caught dead doing it, but I could never figure out what the big deal was.

Me, I normally have one purse that I use until it starts falling apart, and it's almost always black, or at least very dark. They don't get stained like white or light colours do.

I must admit, though, I broke down and bought a second purse, though I can't really use it too much. I found it at a street festival kiosk, and fell in love with it. It's hand embroidered, from India, and the front panel is gorgeous a geometric design with sisha mirrors. Unfortunately, the stitches are very long, so they tend to catch on things, which means it only comes out for special occaisions. ;-)

Sara said...

I hate purses, if it will fit in my pockets I put them there. If I have meetings I take purses, but I HATE IT.

As for the white I've already worn white pants, who's gonna rat on me? Come on put em up...

Sara said...

JAy, that was funny. You must see a lot.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

As for the white I've already worn white pants, who's gonna rat on me?

Yeah! O.K. I'm going to keep wearing my white pants! So there.

Steph said...

I'm a one-purse-at-a-time kind of person myself. I use my ratty black one year-round. For some reason though, I keep all of my old purses though. I never use them again but can't stand to throw them out.

I was fascinated by your description of your purse. I don't think I'll ever look at purses the same way again. Maybe next summer I'll spring for a brand new bright white one. I'll switch back to the black one before winter though, lest the white one get lost in the snow.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

lol! Thanks for your input, Steph! I have the same problem getting rid of the old handbags. Strange eh?

I think women get emotionally attached to their purses. I do for sure.

Yesterday I saw a gorgeous black and grey faux-fur one. I kept touching it but then the clerk gave me a strange look.

Leanne said...

I always have trouble picking out purses, since I can't have a "pit purse" (a name my friend invented for those purses with very short straps, resulting in the purse hanging by your armpit). Every time I try to carry one of those, they fall off my arm because of all the moving my arms have to do to use my canes. It's always hard for me to find a really interesting purse, since most of the interesting ones have the short straps.

I also have a terrible problem with forgetting my purse almost every time I take it. To date, I've left it at movie theatres, churches, friend's houses, and Marc's grandmother's house. I'm so forgetful that I've probably left out some of the places I've forgotten it at. If I'm don't stop this trend, my purse will see more of the world than me! Any tips for me? Should I see a psychiatrist?

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Any tips for me? Should I see a psychiatrist?

lol! Leanne, don't worry. Every woman has done this - several times! I think guys are worse; forgetting and losing their wallets. I still can't figure out where they put all their stuff though!