Sunday, April 09, 2006

Tories: For Your Eyes Only

The Liberal leadership race is obviously going to have a huge affect on Conservative prospects for the next election. With that in mind, we need to do a bit of strategizing here. Everyone knows that Grits troll Tory blogs for info to use against them. Therefore, instead of speculating who would make the best leader, let's use reverse psychology. We'll promote the worst ones in the context of being the ones we fear may have the most potential to wrest the government reins of power away from Stephen Harper.

With that in mind, I propose my list of "favourite" candidates, and their ensuing virtues:

#1. Scott Brison - Here is a man who ensures that his deep sense of humility does not interfere with his ability to justify his mistakes. As in the Income Trust incident, he can easily turn a faux pas into a plus by reminding everyone how virtuous he is to have come forward with the sordid details, after having been forced to do so by the press. Obviously, this is an important attribute in politics.

#2. Gerard Kennedy - "Idealistic young socialist for P.M." Kinda has a nice ring to it, don't ya think? Give the teachers' unions everything they want and you won't have any strikes under your watch. I've read on some Grit blogs that they think this guy has no baggage! No, of course not. Ontario voters have very short memories and Dalton McGuinty's whole list of broken promises will have no effect whatsoever.

#3. Bob Rae - Please refer to Ontario's short memory from #2 (above).

#4. Hedy Fry - This is the one to promote! Hedy is a woman!!! Womens' rights groups everywhere will love this one. And she's not a shrinking violet. Imagine her in a tete-a-tete with George Bush! All our problems with the U.S. would be solved in a nanosecond. She could even offer to personally scan for burning crosses on her trips to Camp David.

#5. Stephane Dion - Let's rally around this guy for sure, eh? First of all, his command of English is so bad that he should easily woo back those separatist votes in Quebec. They'd probably see him as a vision for a country-wide French-only movement. Western Canada might have an issue with that, but what the heck. They're only a bunch of farmers anyway, right?

I could go on, but you get the idea: Promote the candidates that you think have the least chance of unseating Harper. Then again, it's hard to find a serious contender in this cast of clowns.

Belinda might not be so blonde after all.

54 comments:

Riley Hennessey said...

This is such a great post I don't even know where to begin. I got to admire the wit involved here!

Certainly Scott Brison is about to be rejected from his second bid at a national party leadership. What's next.. NDP? Actually I think he'll learn French and challenge Duceppe for the top job of the Bloc!

I think though that Conservatives should look at some of the lesser known Candidates like Fontanna and Findlay... two people who impressed me over the weekend. Findlay because she argued the Libs can't run on "were not scary like the Cons" cause it won't work. Even dumb-ass Brison acknowledged this strategy is bad.

These lesser known candidates could really shape the debate much like I think Findlay did over the weekend, and have an affect on the entire race. These people should be the concern for the Con party cause they actually make SENSE!

molarmauler said...

You forgot to mention that Brison is really up on the whole technology thing, an important asset in the information age.

And don't forget that Stephane's sister Celine will be a huge plus in the PR department to get the Liberals back 'in' with Quebec.

But the candidate I have to promote is Ashley MacIsaac.
He's young, he's energetic and has name similarity with MacDonald. Anyone with a Grade 10 education will easily get the two of them confused.
He can fiddle and good Liberals are good fiddlers. They fiddle with the books, they fiddle with the truth, the fiddle around with taxpayer money; that analogy can go on and on...
The fact that he flirted with the idea of running for the CPC leadership and rejected it gives him instant credibility as a modern progressive. Plus, who better to combat the evil cons who want to do away with Liberal plans to decriminalize marijuana.
With his penchant for piss, the campaign slogan of "Canada, you're a nation" will be an instant classic.

vicki said...

great post. I get what you are saying...and I don't see any serious threats to Stephen Harper, so any of them can try...but it will be for their own glory and not for the good of Canada. Someone correctly pointed out that Iggy expressed his deep love for the Liberal party, but how does he feel about Canadians?
Bob Rae left Ontario in deep socialistic debt, so let's say go Bob!Ontario won't forget!

vicki said...

Everyone remembers Hedy's 'cross' messup...I remember her for insulting stay at home mom's in the House of Commons. You can find it if you google: "Hedy Fry Hansard barefoot and pregnant"

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Molarmauler! I completely forgot about MacIssac!! But you did a great job here. Absolutely, Ashley should be our #1 choice! He embodies so many Liberal virtues. Thanks for running with the ball here.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Riley, thanks so much. Regarding Findlay, I agree with you. I liked her comment about feeling like she was auditioning for Canadian Idol or something. Yes, unlike MacIssac, I left her off my list on purpose (but don't tell that to your fellow Grits!)

vicki said...

molar..that's a classic!"you're a nation" lol

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Oh man! That one went went over my head. "You're a nation!" Molarmauler is sizzling today! And "Stephane's sister Celine". Just got that one too! I guess I used up all my brain power in one shot this morning. D'uh!

vicki said...

joanne...just think empty promises from Libs as in 'void'lol

molarmauler said...

:D
Hey the "you're a nation" line came from a post I did in March after MacIssac announced his run.
You can see the other potential campaign slogans here.

Just wondering, was he at the thing in Edmonton yesterday? Didn't see him on NewsNet. Perhaps he figured he's sold enough extra records already.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

See, Molarmauler. I always said you are a man ahead of your time.

Re: Edmonton. No, I didn't see him either. Maybe Riley knows. Seems to me that Ashley is using this as a big kick-off promo and nothing more.

Riley Hennessey said...

Gang,

As for McIsaac, he sure wasn't there in Edmonton speaking... I doubt he was in the province. I saw an article online today about him posting something somewhere. I tend not to lend him any credibility as he is not only a washed up performer, but just plain washed up. Joanne is right, he's out to get some publicity.

TheTorontoTory said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

riley hennessey said:
"I saw an article online today about him posting something somewhere."

For those who're interested in seeing some of MacIsaac's "purple prose" go to:
http://kdoughscanada.blogspot.com/2006/03/ashley-macisaac-visits-k-doughs-canada.html

I found it via this blog:
http://www.damianpenny.com/

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Riley - "I tend not to lend him any credibility as he is not only a washed up performer, but just plain washed up."

Yes, I think maybe in my subconscious I never really considered him a serious contender. Time for McIssac to "bow" out. ;)

-------------------
BTW, someone posted an ad here to join a Tory blog roll, which is not offensive other than I don't think this is the forum to advertise such things, so I removed it.

Zac said...

Didn't notice anything on there about Ignatieff....nothing to say about Iggy? To easy a target perhaps? Or do you not want to step on the toes of a future Prime Minister?

Just wondering.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Au contraire, mon ami. Just like Diane Findlay, I see Iggy as a serious threat so I will not be promoting him!

molarmauler said...

Carolyn Bennett.

Let's boost Carolyn Bennett.
She's wound up tighter than a Jack Russell terrier who's found the chocolate covered coffee beans in the lower cupboard.
Whatever she's taking for her epilepsy doesn't seem to be working. I'd like to see the list of meds she's prescribed for herself.
If people had to watch Martin's arm-swinging, I think anyone that debates her should wear full body armor.

As well, I love her comments from Edmonton that there is 'no oxygen at the summit of the Liberal Party' (loose paraphrase).

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Oops - That should be Martha Hall Findlay; not Diane Finley; Guess I've been blogging too much about daycare lately!

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Good one, Molarmauler! Let's push for a Carolyn Bennet coronation! You're right! The arm gesturing is so reminiscent of Paul, that she's a shoo-in! And those Libs all loved Paul so much, right?

Yup, there isn't much oxygen up in her summit, that's for sure.

PGP said...

That's a good one.... but why stop with that short list?
Pick a name any name.....the liberals have no hope of finding a leader of substance from within the ranks.

These empty shells will all implode with a little poking and I'm proud to say I'll be there to poke... hope fully along with you too!

Joanne (True Blue) said...

pgp - It's a sad lot alright. We have to let those poor Grits think we're afraid of somebody though. They need some hope. I mean, what if the whole party imploded? (Be still my beating heart...)

Zac said...

pgp is here to poke eh? Ok, begin to poke away. I just have a few things to say before all the "poking" begins.

First things first, so far we have around 16 candidates. That's 16 threats for the Regressive Conservatives. Of those 16, 5 seriously have a vision for the country. That's a threat to the Cons also.

Vision is something that your portly leader knows nothing about. While he plans on governing from a deep, dark ideological hole of cutting taxes, brutalizing criminals, and following the US when it comes to foreign policy, candidates such as Michael Ignateff have a true vision for the future of the nation.

This is a threat. People will recognize this.

Perhaps Harper should resign now and save himself the embarassment. He should make room for the next Liberal leader sooner rather than later. He is the Joe Clark of the modern age, his defeat will usher in 16 or more years of Liberal governments. Why? Because the Liberals have vision.

Be threatened by vision people. Its a dangerous thing when you dont have it. Thats the reason why Harper is but a mere historical footnote and the Liberals are electing the next great leader of our country.

(That should dispell any myth's of the arrogant liberal)

Zac said...

I'll stop posting on your site now Joanne, I'm sure your getting tired of me today...it seems I'll do anything to distract myself from studying for exams.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

That's o.k. Zak. It's been fun. Thanks for your very interesting perspective. Now hit those books!

Chuckercanuck said...

Iggy's Vision of Canada:

Version 1. short'n'sweet:

Make it a big version of Harvard's Quad.

Version 2. more to his liking:

My Canada is the intersection between Dworkinian compassion and Heideggerian social justice where individuals collect in community towards interventionist dialectics that seek to maximizes the potentialities of said individuals along the I-thou plane that Martin Buber so ably articulated.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Brilliant, CC! lol!!!

I am so impressed by that authoritarian intellectual verbiage! I'm sure that Buzz Hargrove will have a lot in common with this guy. Just your regular bar-hopping buddy.

Speaking of Buzz, why isn't he in this parade?

Anonymous said...

"He thinks he smarter than you"

That'll be a great harper slogan.

Sara said...

HEDY HEDY HEDY HEDY HEDY!!!!!!


oh yah give me feminism or ummm a burning cross!


HEDY HEDY HEDY HEDY


burning bras time!

liberal supporter said...

The fact that you even posted this shows you're worried. That's all the liberal trolls are looking for. Who you "fear" is unimportant to them.

All that the liberals are concerned about is their second level support. The past election pretty much reduced their vote to the "my grandfather voted liberal and so will I" core support. Many who traditionally vote liberal got sick of the last few years, with Chretien beoming (more) arrogant, the hostile takeover by Martin, the centralized party control and the accumulated baggage of various scandals. Those voters are the ones who they are concerned about. Not you.

The second level liberal support is quite happy to have Stephen under a minority for the rest of this year. He can't get too radical, but he'll do some much needed housecleaning. He can't even pull a Dief and call a snap election, because it is unchivalrous when the opposition has no leader. And the opposition is dragging that out as long as possible.

The senior levels of the civil service are now being heard from. They talk about "12/12" the day Martin took over, and since then the business of government had slowly ground to a halt. Having the Conservatives in power is the fastest way to clear out the deadwood from the previous government. But they will support the liberals again, once the liberals have renewed themselves.

In December they choose a leader. By February '07 some pretext will be found to defeat the govenment and have a spring election. The honeymoon will be over with Stephen, and just started with the new liberal leader.

Probably you will see the opposition acting fearful of an early election and they will abstain from voting on certain things that they can later trumpet as "the Harper agenda".

That's why I think the same sex vote (repealing same sex marriage) may well pass, by opposition parties abstaining, and anything that can later be made to appear as "damaging health care" will likewise be allowed to pass.

Then they come out with the new leader showing how bad it was with just a Conservative minority. "Imagine how terrible it would be with a Conservative majority."

You know that's exactly what they'll do.

Sara said...

Carolyn Bennett is famous for "if you stay at home, then obviously you can afford it!"

YEs, we're all rich doctors that became a liberal because well the health care system couldn't afford her ego so she figured the Liberals could!
You wonder why the Liberals are sooo broke.

molarmauler said...

Liberal Supporter thinks you're worried Joanne.
That's almost as funny as your light-hearted and mischevious poke at the Libs.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Liberal Supporter:

"That's why I think the same sex vote (repealing same sex marriage) may well pass, by opposition parties abstaining".

For the love of Pete how does that make any sense? First of all, votes of conscience are never votes of confidence, so the government would not be in danger of falling. Therefore there is absolutely no reason for the opposition parties to vote other than their consciences or however their leaders dictate to them. Also there are members of the Conservatives who support SSM. Harper has gone on record saying his caucus would be allowed to vote their consciences in the upcoming vote, as they did in the previous one.

You think that the opposition parties would deliberately ensure that SSM would be defeated just so they can point to the scary Conservative government in the next election? I would say that the voters would point to ineffective M.P.'s who don't support their views and get rid of the whole lot.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Molarmauler - "light-hearted and mischevious".. Yeah, I was thinking sarcastic but your description makes me seem nicer.

liberal supporter said...

Why then, are the liberals prepared to spend 10 months on choosing a leader?

As you say, "Therefore there is absolutely no reason for the opposition parties to vote other than their consciences or however their leaders dictate to them."
With no leader to dictate to them, they can say they couldn't vote on the matter, "Stephen was unfair having such an important vote while we have no leader".

I do think the opposition parties will use anything they can to point to the scary Conservative government. Letting the government win votes on divisive issues, as long as they have an excuse for why they let it by, yes. I think SSM is not the best example here, but something to do with health care, definitely.

"I would say that the voters would point to ineffective M.P.'s who don't support their views and get rid of the whole lot."

If you believe that, then you would have to believe that the liberals were effective and supported the voters' views all the times they did win, 3 majorities in a row in the 90s.

They'll spin it to make Stephen look bad. Laugh it up if you want, be sarcastic if you want. If, on the other hand, you want your ideals to be implemented by government, be aware of what the opposition will probably do and be prepared to counter it.

Remember, some of their main spin doctors sat the last election out. They were happy to see the Chretien-Martin duopoly go.

PGP said...

From a student of something somewhere......

""Be threatened by vision people. Its a dangerous thing when you dont have it. Thats the reason why Harper is but a mere historical footnote and the Liberals are electing the next great leader of our country.

(That should dispell any myth's of the arrogant liberal)""


What could possibly be more arrogant than the false assertion that Harper or we conservatives have no vision?
What is regressive about conservatism?
What is progressive about liberalism?

Would anyone in their right mind assume that this party of thieves and liars will produce a "Great Leader" ??
How long will it take a student these days to shed the effects of the socialist brainwash they receive in our universities?

When will you grow up?

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Well, Liberal supporter, thanks for a sneak peak into your party's upcoming strategy. "Make Stephen Harper look scary!" Wow. That certainly was never tried before. Very innovative.

Yup. We're worried. Shaking in our boots. Maybe Ashley can play a little tune to take our minds off it all.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Yes, my young friend Zac has been brainwashed. It's not his fault. PGP, I agree with you. Universities are left-wing propaganda breeding grounds. But how can you get away from it? Unions control education from kindergarten up. But that isn't enough for them. Oh no, they want to have national daycare across the country, run by unionized socialists that can indoctrine the very young. It's a cult. Thank God for people like Sara who continue to fight for families and free thought.

But I think there is hope with a few of the young Liberals. Riley especially has a view to improve his party; not for the sake of power, but for all the right reasons - looking for that Canadian vision that Zac is talking about. I respect that.

molarmauler said...

If the Liberals were smart LS they'd be waiting till Mar 2007 instead of rushing it for the fall of this year.
The reason they are rushing it is they know that Harper will finish his 5 priorities and call a June 2007 election himself to get his majority.

The cons are forcing the Liberals rush to a new leader so they don't face the cheap shot that Martin did to Harper in calling the 2004 election so close to the CPC convention.

So stop your silly spinning and take a deep breath before you make yourself dizzy.

Mac said...

Apparently the Liberals, in their blind adulation of P.E. Trudeau, are betting their future on intellectuals. As we all know, the universities are hotbeds of "progressive" thought.

The problem is most intellectuals are like hot-house plants; they don't do well in the wilds. I've met some very highly educated morons whose connection with reality is tenuous at best; haven't we all?

That's why I'm supporting Hedy Fry. No-one will ever accuse Hedy of being too smart. Go Hedy!!

Joanne (True Blue) said...

MM - Perfect shot about the 'cheap shot'. You know, usually I look very hard for something substantive in anyone's argument, but in the case of Liberal Supporter, I'm still searching.

Mac - I couldn't agree with you more about the difficulty of eggheads relating to the real world. Here in Mennonite country we have a saying: "Buch schmart aber nicht welt schmart". That's probably a pretty hacked up translation of the Pennsylvania Dutch expression, but it refers to someone who is brilliant in school, but doesn't have a clue once they get out.

Emotional intelligence is an important attribute; especially in politics.

Go Hedy!!!

liberal supporter said...

Thank you for confirming your complacency, just a few weeks into the new government. We are relieved.

Funny how this whole post was about your feinting "strategy" to influence the liberals to select a leader most acceptable to you (select a leader most easily defeatable). Yet you think the liberals themselves are above this sort of thing.

"So stop your silly spinning and take a deep breath before you make yourself dizzy.".

I think that says it all. As a strategy to convince enough people to vote for you, though, it could do with improvement.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Liberal Supporter, I have tried very hard to understand your logic, but it still evades me. I can only speculate that your level of intelligence is very superior to my own; somewhere up there in the oxygen-depleted summit.

Zac said...

Good thing I stopped by, it seems that I need to defend myself a bit here.

Let me elaborate a little about why I joined the Liberals. First of, I've been a Liberal since I was in high school, which was about a decade ago.

My parents are conservative (really conservative). Being born on the west coast, you'd be interested to know that my mother was at the meeting which founded the Reform Party. My father organized for Clarke and Mulroney. Telling these two that I was a Liberal was like "coming out of the closet." On the flip side, my grandfather worked for Tommy Douglas. You can begin to see the extent of political debate around the table at family dinners.

So besides this family history story, you can see that I haven't been "brainwashed" by some evil left-wing professor. In fact, most profs that I have try to explain both sides of every issue. If they do reveal their politics, they are usually NDP members, which conflicts with my principles as much as the Tories do.
========
My decision to join up with the Libs was not because they are "Canada's natural governing party" or because they are an "election machine". After examining all the parties, I made my decision because of 1) thier rich history of achievement and 2) thier national vision. (I can here you chuckling right now, but let me explain a bit)

While I do strongly hold some "tory" principles, such as an elected senate, the democratization of civil society, and tax reduction, my biggest problem with the Tories and Harper is the provincialization of our country. While I do believe in small government, I also believe in strong central government. I reject fundamentally the idea that Canada is simply a "community of communities".

This, coupled with many other issues (notably health care) is why I am not a tory. I believe in the Liberal vision of a common citizenship initiative and equality of regions.

I won't bore you further, I simply wanted to dismiss any thoughts that any of you had that I was tricked or fooled in any way into supporting the Liberals.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Wow, Zac! I am humbled and impressed by your ability to articulate your position and by your political pedigree.

If you were running for Liberal leader, I would be starting to worry, and I mean that in a complimentary way.

Not sure if I agree with you about Harper having a vision of Canada being no more than an aggregate of communities, but that's your take, and I have mine.

Keep studying, Zac. Canada needs you!

Joanne (True Blue) said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
molarmauler said...

With respect to a vision of a country, I like to think of provinces as siblings.
I have three children who are as different from each other as rock paper and scissors. I wouldn't dream of imposing some sort of homogenizing of them into three clones of some ideal I have.
I believe you can have a strong federal government and strong, distinct provinces. You need to define the roles strongly and respect them.
I like this idea rather than a bunch of identical chicks under the wing of a Liberal hen.

Boy am I am metaphor mixer.

Off topic, boy the Liberals continue to be humbled in and out of the House. MacKinnon was slaughtered on Duffy today. It's fun to watch the NDP and the Cons pick them apart.

Mac said...

Mennonite country? Up by Elmira and St. Jacobs? I used to live in K-W!!

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Mac - Well I'm actually in K-W, but I consider it all to be Mennonite country; Oktoberfest country. It all schmecks! ;)

Mac said...

I used to rent on Clarence Place, close to downtown. I was working for NCR in their field service dept.

I left K-W in 1988... I've heard I wouldn't likely recognize the place now.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

1988? No, probably not! I know a few people that work at NCR. That whole area is booming up there right now. Lots of high tech; especially around the universities.

Where do you live now, Mac?

Mac said...

I'm outside Vancouver, close to the border but I've hit quite a few places between K-W and here. When I left K-W, I went to Montreal and from there, Regina (don't ask!) before moving to BC in 1990.

BC is beautiful but politics here in a vicious bloodsport. Provincial elections are an exercise in frustration for me. We have no provincial Conservative Party; no Reform or openly "right" parties whatsoever. Instead, we have Gordon Campbell's Liberals. The alternative? Carol James and the NDP.

Joanne (True Blue) said...

Wow, Mac! I had no idea the right was so poorly represented in B.C.! What do you think is the reason for that? It makes any Federal Tory gains all the more impressive!

Mac said...

Gordon Campbell's Liberal Party is pretty much dead centre; the Dippers are hard left. I've never seen more activist unions than the ones here in BC. There is a resurrected provincial Conservative Party but they haven't elected an MLA yet and, to my knowledge, didn't run MLAs in all ridings.

The last government of the right was the Social Credit government from 1986 to 1991, lead by Bill Vanderzalm who resigned after being caught in a compromising business deal (accepting $30K cash on the side, if memory serves). Like I said... a blood sport.

I suspect the reason the Federal Conservatives made any progress here was the large number of retirees from other, less activist provinces. Our warm climate makes BC a popular retirement spot for lords of industry from all parts of Canada.