The Liberal leadership race is obviously going to have a huge affect on Conservative prospects for the next election. With that in mind, we need to do a bit of strategizing here. Everyone knows that Grits troll Tory blogs for info to use against them. Therefore, instead of speculating who would make the best leader, let's use reverse psychology. We'll promote the worst ones in the context of being the ones we fear may have the most potential to wrest the government reins of power away from Stephen Harper.
With that in mind, I propose my list of "favourite" candidates, and their ensuing virtues:
#1. Scott Brison - Here is a man who ensures that his deep sense of humility does not interfere with his ability to justify his mistakes. As in the Income Trust incident, he can easily turn a faux pas into a plus by reminding everyone how virtuous he is to have come forward with the sordid details, after having been forced to do so by the press. Obviously, this is an important attribute in politics.
#2. Gerard Kennedy - "Idealistic young socialist for P.M." Kinda has a nice ring to it, don't ya think? Give the teachers' unions everything they want and you won't have any strikes under your watch. I've read on some Grit blogs that they think this guy has no baggage! No, of course not. Ontario voters have very short memories and Dalton McGuinty's whole list of broken promises will have no effect whatsoever.
#3. Bob Rae - Please refer to Ontario's short memory from #2 (above).
#4. Hedy Fry - This is the one to promote! Hedy is a woman!!! Womens' rights groups everywhere will love this one. And she's not a shrinking violet. Imagine her in a tete-a-tete with George Bush! All our problems with the U.S. would be solved in a nanosecond. She could even offer to personally scan for burning crosses on her trips to Camp David.
#5. Stephane Dion - Let's rally around this guy for sure, eh? First of all, his command of English is so bad that he should easily woo back those separatist votes in Quebec. They'd probably see him as a vision for a country-wide French-only movement. Western Canada might have an issue with that, but what the heck. They're only a bunch of farmers anyway, right?
I could go on, but you get the idea: Promote the candidates that you think have the least chance of unseating Harper. Then again, it's hard to find a serious contender in this cast of clowns.
Belinda might not be so blonde after all.